Dad is Gone: A Tragedy

Dear Dad, 

I know you used to travel for work. But now that I've been born, that nonsense needs to stop.  What's more important? Providing for your family? Or carrying me around all evening in just the way I like? I think the answer is obvious.

But you apparently don't. You left me all alone with Mom and my siblings for FIVE DAYS. Mom's okay. She is the Food Source. But she doesn't do things the way I like them done. Here's what happened the night she attempted to give me a bath (a job that falls clearly under your domain):

"Do you even know how to do this? I'm suspicious."

"Worst. Bath. Ever. I'll try to hide my disappointment."

"Do you see this, Dad? Those are CURLS on my head!

Where is my mohawk? This woman is nuts."

"And then, instead of carrying me around (as is right and proper),

she made me do TUMMY TIME!"

"I couldn't hide my disappointment any longer."

"Worst part: she actually tried to put me in my swing while I was STILL AWAKE.

Obviously that worked out really well for everyone."

"But I guess she is the Food Source. I really like food."

"So I'll reward her efforts with my first real smiles!

See what happens when you aren't home, Dad?

You should never leave again."

As far as Jon trips go, this was a pretty short one--Monday through Friday. It was frustrating knowing he was actually just a couple hours away in Virginia, but it was not worth driving home with crazy traffic every day.  I was pretty nervous before he left, but we survived! But we were all very happy when Daddy came home: 

"I remember you!"