(Extra kudos if you can place the quote used as the title!)
My friends, I have a sad story to share with you. It all began on Halloween Eve, otherwise known as Ward Trunk or Treat night.
Everything went swimmingly that morning. Seth was an angel and let me carve our pumpkin and make our delicious shrimp bisque (which I knew would win the prize for "Best Soup"). We even had time to go visit Krystal & Victoria. A lovely, perfect morning.
Things continued well as the afternoon progressed. The bisque was staying toasty warm in the crock-pot, the pumpkin seeds were ready for roasting, and the supplies for our costumes (which we had been planning for months) were all in order.
Just before 4pm, Jon came home from work, which meant I was free to go out and get the final touch for my costume: a haircut. (Yes, I am dedicated enough to cut my hair in order to complete a costume. We're serious about Halloween at this house).
And from this point on, our story takes a turn for the worse. Let me introduce our villain:
(not this exact store, but you get the point)
(not this exact store, but you get the point)What you can easily deduce from my choice of hair salons is that I really know nothing about getting my hair done. Oh, and I'm cheap. But I figured I was safe--after all, I had a picture of exactly what I wanted:
A cute bob (a little shorter than this one)
Seems simple, right? I showed her the picture, explained what I wanted, and even left the magazine open on her little vanity so she could look at it for reference.
To make a very, very long process short, this is what I came home looking like:
Layers on one side, no layers on the other. Uneven. Too long. Basically just totally disgusting. And yes, I had that look on my face, too.
A few background details at this point:
#1--I had accidentally left my phone in Jon's car the night before, so I couldn't call him and ask him to come home a little earlier than normal so I wouldn't have to stress about not getting my hair done on time.
#2--Jon had volunteered to help set up for the activity, which meant he needed to be there early. He told me this about 10 minutes before I left to get my hair cut.
By the time I got home, it was 6pm. Time the activity started? 6pm. I rushed upstairs to do some serious editing on my hair. And no, I've never taken a hair-cutting class in my life. By the time I got it looking decent, it was 6:30pm.
Jon had called me several times asking me what was taking so long. I told him I was finally ready and rushed downstairs to leave. It was at this point that I realized that when Jon left early, he took 1) himself, and 2) Seth. Nothing else. Which meant that I was frantically gathering up costume odds and ends, our pumpkin, matches, candles, candy, bowl, and the crock-pot full of soup. I threw it all in the car and got to the church by 6:40. Trunk or Treating started at 7pm.
Grumpy Jon (he hadn't eaten) and grumpy Seth (who refused to be put down so his dad could eat) met me in the parking lot. We started unloading the car, at which point we realized the soup had spilled ALL over the backseat. This just added to Jon's good mood. We were bickering as we walked into the church.
Jon: "Why didn't you just put it on the floor?"
Meg: "It wouldn't fit!"
Jon: "Then why didn't you put it in a box or something?"
Meg: "I didn't have time! Why didn't YOU just bring it?"
Jon: "I didn't think it would take you so long to get here!"
Meg: "Well, neither did I! This wasn't my plan, either!"
I love my husband. But he's not very nice when he's hungry. I took Seth, he took the soup and went to eat. I tried to eat, too, but Seth wasn't helping. At one point he even dove into my soup bowl and covered himself with bisque. I think it was at this point I realized I'd left the crucial part of Seth's costume at home. No one knew what he was.
About 5 minutes after I walked in they asked all the adults to go get their cars ready for trunk or treating. Jon took care of that, but I was still stuck with whiny Seth who was only content when he was throwing my credit cards all over the table and floor (and into my soup).
At some point Marley took pity on me and started feeding Seth some pie so I could eat. He's lucky to have such a nice honorary aunt!
By the time I got done eating everything was done and they were cleaning up around me. I didn't get to try anyone else's soup (which wasn't too upsetting because mine was really good. Seriously). I didn't get any of Heidi or Krystal's pie. And I didn't get to see hardly anyone's costumes because I was so busy rushing around. I'd been looking forward to this night all month and it ended up being a disaster.
But there was some hope at the end of the long, dark night. First, there was my sweet husband who cleaned out the soup-filled backseat for me ("I got almost THREE CUPS of soup out of that puddle"). Then there were the people (like Marley) who sat through my sob story and empathized with me. Finally, there were Shawn & Krystal, who came to say hi and let me invite myself over to go trick or treating with them & Victoria the next night.
That made me feel better. We weren't planning on taking Seth trick-or-treating, but it's a good excuse to get ourselves dressed up in our costumes again--this time without all the drama. Because, amidst all the insanity last night, we didn't take a single picture. And our costumes are so awesome that we NEED photographic evidence.
And so ended our terrible night. Actually, I think it officially ended with me cleaning up the hairy mess I made in the bathroom. But tonight should be better. And you'll all have to wait until then to find out what we dressed up as (those who know: DON'T TELL!).
Lesson learned: never, ever, ever be cheap about getting your hair cut.
Oh, and another disappointment: they didn't award the prizes for soup, pie, and costumes! So I'll award them myself:
Best Soup: Me. Yes, I am that vain (recipe here)
Best Pie: Guess we'll never know, since I didn't get any... :(
Best Child Costume: Victoria. And that thing is HOMEMADE!! (Go Krystal!)
Best Adult Costume: (I really want to be totally vain and say "Us", but I'll restrain myself). It's a toss up between Shawn's Balloon Boy and Heidi's creepy ghost lady.
Congratulations, everyone!
To make a very, very long process short, this is what I came home looking like:
Layers on one side, no layers on the other. Uneven. Too long. Basically just totally disgusting. And yes, I had that look on my face, too.A few background details at this point:
#1--I had accidentally left my phone in Jon's car the night before, so I couldn't call him and ask him to come home a little earlier than normal so I wouldn't have to stress about not getting my hair done on time.
#2--Jon had volunteered to help set up for the activity, which meant he needed to be there early. He told me this about 10 minutes before I left to get my hair cut.
By the time I got home, it was 6pm. Time the activity started? 6pm. I rushed upstairs to do some serious editing on my hair. And no, I've never taken a hair-cutting class in my life. By the time I got it looking decent, it was 6:30pm.
Jon had called me several times asking me what was taking so long. I told him I was finally ready and rushed downstairs to leave. It was at this point that I realized that when Jon left early, he took 1) himself, and 2) Seth. Nothing else. Which meant that I was frantically gathering up costume odds and ends, our pumpkin, matches, candles, candy, bowl, and the crock-pot full of soup. I threw it all in the car and got to the church by 6:40. Trunk or Treating started at 7pm.
Grumpy Jon (he hadn't eaten) and grumpy Seth (who refused to be put down so his dad could eat) met me in the parking lot. We started unloading the car, at which point we realized the soup had spilled ALL over the backseat. This just added to Jon's good mood. We were bickering as we walked into the church.
Jon: "Why didn't you just put it on the floor?"
Meg: "It wouldn't fit!"
Jon: "Then why didn't you put it in a box or something?"
Meg: "I didn't have time! Why didn't YOU just bring it?"
Jon: "I didn't think it would take you so long to get here!"
Meg: "Well, neither did I! This wasn't my plan, either!"
I love my husband. But he's not very nice when he's hungry. I took Seth, he took the soup and went to eat. I tried to eat, too, but Seth wasn't helping. At one point he even dove into my soup bowl and covered himself with bisque. I think it was at this point I realized I'd left the crucial part of Seth's costume at home. No one knew what he was.
About 5 minutes after I walked in they asked all the adults to go get their cars ready for trunk or treating. Jon took care of that, but I was still stuck with whiny Seth who was only content when he was throwing my credit cards all over the table and floor (and into my soup).
At some point Marley took pity on me and started feeding Seth some pie so I could eat. He's lucky to have such a nice honorary aunt!
By the time I got done eating everything was done and they were cleaning up around me. I didn't get to try anyone else's soup (which wasn't too upsetting because mine was really good. Seriously). I didn't get any of Heidi or Krystal's pie. And I didn't get to see hardly anyone's costumes because I was so busy rushing around. I'd been looking forward to this night all month and it ended up being a disaster.
But there was some hope at the end of the long, dark night. First, there was my sweet husband who cleaned out the soup-filled backseat for me ("I got almost THREE CUPS of soup out of that puddle"). Then there were the people (like Marley) who sat through my sob story and empathized with me. Finally, there were Shawn & Krystal, who came to say hi and let me invite myself over to go trick or treating with them & Victoria the next night.
That made me feel better. We weren't planning on taking Seth trick-or-treating, but it's a good excuse to get ourselves dressed up in our costumes again--this time without all the drama. Because, amidst all the insanity last night, we didn't take a single picture. And our costumes are so awesome that we NEED photographic evidence.
And so ended our terrible night. Actually, I think it officially ended with me cleaning up the hairy mess I made in the bathroom. But tonight should be better. And you'll all have to wait until then to find out what we dressed up as (those who know: DON'T TELL!).
Lesson learned: never, ever, ever be cheap about getting your hair cut.
Oh, and another disappointment: they didn't award the prizes for soup, pie, and costumes! So I'll award them myself:
Best Soup: Me. Yes, I am that vain (recipe here)
Best Pie: Guess we'll never know, since I didn't get any... :(
Best Child Costume: Victoria. And that thing is HOMEMADE!! (Go Krystal!)
Best Adult Costume: (I really want to be totally vain and say "Us", but I'll restrain myself). It's a toss up between Shawn's Balloon Boy and Heidi's creepy ghost lady.
Congratulations, everyone!
5 comments:
Heart of Darkness!!!!!
What a horrible night. Sorry about your terrible day. I am excited to try and make your soup though. We will see how that turns out. Yeah, I learned a long time ago to never go cheap on my hair cuts. I have had too many devestating results. Hope you were able to salvage it okay. I am excited to see how you guys look!
Is that REALLY what your hair looked like - looks like dark worms crawling off your head! That beats ANY and ALL Kenna hair stories - and colors... Will it be better by Christmas? I thought Marah would be the weird hair color for this Christmas family pic. It is her turn, after all Beth had last year, and the Kenna most years before!
Anyway, your story was laugh out loud funny! It was a nice break from ripping apart a broken washing machine!!! Glad you can see the humor and share. You are such a well-adjust child. I'd love to take credit, but alas, I can't not lie (okay, I choose not to lie...)
I think that Trunk or Treats lead to marital strife everywhere, because there was anger in our family, and I mentioned it to a friend in my ward, who admitted that she and her husband were arguing, and then someone overheard and came over and started telling about the fight SHE had with HER husband, and that they fight every year before the Trunk or Treat. Hahaha! Loved your costumes.
oh megan! what a disaster! i feel so bad! you should call me next time something like that is about to happen (as if you knew it was going to be such a disaster) and i'll watch seth while you get your hair done! at least your hair looks cute now (no thanks to the person who cut it) and your costumes were cool. i love the pic of seth with his hair green. and i wish i could have tasted your soup. at least people didnt guess your costume was heidi and spencer, paris hilton or christina aguilera (yes i did get all three of those). this comment is long.
Oh Megan, your a good sport. And brave. Even if my haircut turns out the way I wanted I'm out of commission for the rest of the day crying about it! And the rest of the night...there should be a prize on your blog for Super Woman: Megan Blood ;D!
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