When we visited last May, Dad Blood wasn't doing great. He spent most of his time napping on the couch and would be disoriented occasionally. Mom was hopeful that more/different medication would help him get more sleep and reverse some of this. But starting in October or November her conversations shifted. Soon she was telling us she would be surprised if Dad made it to Thanksgiving. Her sweet neighbor Kathy was helping care for Dad while Mom was at school. She was also sure he wouldn't be around much longer. He was barely eating and out of it most of the time.
But Dad made it to Thanksgiving. And then to December. Everyone who saw him was sure he had only a few days left, but he just kept hanging on. Mom took off work because she wanted to be with him. She even started sleeping downstairs in a bed by him so she could hear his breathing at night. But he still held on. We were all upset and confused--his body was shutting down. He hadn't had anything to eat or drink for weeks. Why was he still here? He even got a blessing telling him he could go home, that Sara would be taken care of. Finally, we ended up fasting and praying that he would pass soon and be free from pain and confusion. Early Sunday morning (December 5th) we got a text from Mom saying that he was gone. It was a very bittersweet feeling. So much relief that he was free from pain and reunited with his parents and siblings who have passed. But so much loss. So many big moments in the future where we'll feel his loss, plus all the little moments when you just want to ask Dad a question but can't.
Kathy told us that Dad spent a lot of his time worrying about all the kids. In his head they were all much younger--Jon was back in middle school. We think maybe that's the reason he held on so long. How could he leave Sara with all these little kids to care for?
Because of the holidays and Christmas plans, Mom decided to postpone the funeral until December 17th. Right around this time we got a letter from the girls' school saying there was a schoolwide Covid outbreak. I panicked a bit. If we got Covid, we would have to miss the funeral. Thankfully the school nurse was very understanding and let the girls stay home on 'quarantine' for two weeks before we left. They missed so much school in December... But at least we headed to WV illness-free! Or so we thought...(dun, dun, DUN!).
In case anyone was wondering,
driving with a toddler is still super, super fun.
After Dad passed, we had lots of sweet friends and family offering their condolences. Jon and I always felt a little awkward because for us it wasn't that sad. He had been sick for so long. We had prayed for him to go home and were happy he was at peace. Plus, the funeral was going to be a huge family reunion that we were all looking forward to!
Timmy, the favorite of all the nieces and nephews.
I still love that these former enemies are now besties!
Elise and Tauriel:
A giant collection of girl cousins hanging out in our bedroom full of mattresses:
My favorite development from this funeral reunion was seeing Catherine bond with the older girl cousins who she hasn't really interacted with much (other than Brianna). Rebekah was the ringleader and she had Catherine, Brianna and Avery all fully invested in this story they all wrote together. It was a Parent Trap-esque story about separated twins, one of whom was super pretty and popular, the other being a loser with "no bosoms" (my favorite line).
Working hard on "Izzy and Bella"
But, naturally, most of the time was spent on screens:
How many Blood cousins can we fit on two couches?
Elijah getting some loves from Aunt Joanna
The viewing was Friday evening. My kids opted to stay home and play with cousins, which was fine. We did bring Elijah since we didn't want to pawn him off on anyone else. He spent the whole time running through the hallways while I followed after him. I didn't really know anyone there anyway, so I let Jonny do all the talking.
I did get a chance to look at all the beautiful flowers between bouts of toddler chasing. I found these beautiful roses from our friends the Knoxes and Uhligs. They had no idea that roses were Dad's favorite, or that pink roses especially reminded him of his mom's roses. It was a sweet little tender mercy.
I love this picture of Jonny playing guys with Ethan:
What do you do when you're all ready for the funeral but it's not quite time to go?
Cousin train!
What about when you're at the church but still there a bit early?
Cousin pew gymnastic routines!
There was another viewing just before the funeral. A few of my kids wanted to see Grandpa and say goodbye, but a couple were uncomfortable and kind of glanced at the casket instead. It's their first real experience with death and it's always kind of uncomfortable and confusing when you're little.
Before the funeral, Mom asked all the family to come into the room with the casket and gather for family prayer. She asked Jonny to say the prayer and it was a tender, beautiful prayer. Dad left a great legacy and I'm blessed to have gotten to be part of his family.
The Bloods, including Brad & Barbara and Fred & Aleta
Just Mark & Sara's family
(missing Samantha & Aiden, plus Andrew and Eli)
The funeral service was a beautiful tribute to Dad and to the hope we have of the resurrection and of being together again one day. Mary gave the eulogy and it was a perfect glimpse of who Dad was. Mom asked Wendy to sing and she picked a beautiful hymn called "Softly and Tenderly." The line that stood out to me was this: "Ye who are weary, come home." Dad was so weary, and I'm so glad he's home. The grandkids all sang "Families Can Be Together Forever" and some of the older girls struggled to make it through without crying. Jocelyn is the oldest at 15. They will all miss having their grandpa there to watch them grow.
Because Mom isn't sure where she's going to end up living when she retires, she opted to have Dad's casket placed in the mausoleum instead of buried. It was definitely a different experience for me.
The sons carrying the casket into the mausoleum:
Daniel dedicated the grave, then we all headed back to the church for an incredibly generous lunch provided by the ward. There were so many leftovers that Mom was stressing out about who was going to eat it all before we all headed back home.
Then it was--you guessed it!--time for more screens with cousins.
There's just not that much to do in West Virginia when it's cold and rainy.
We were all planning to attend church together the next day, and then spend the rest of the day helping Mom clear out some things from the closet. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night Aaron sat up in bed and vomited. Know what's really fun? Trying to clean up vomit in the middle of the night, with all the rooms full of sleeping people, in a house that's not yours, and with no cleaning supplies. Mom kept all the cleaning supplies in her room. When Jon knocked on her door and asked for Lysol wipes, she handed him a single wipe and went back to bed. So we used a thing of hand sanitizer and some paper towels to clean up.
The next morning we packed up and headed up in a (probably vain) attempt to keep the germs from spreading. We didn't get to say goodbye to several people, which made us sad. But we did make it home without anyone throwing up in the car! And lucky for us, the adventures with the Bloods weren't over yet...
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